Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Damn Unpretty

I had plenty of time to think while I was hanging laundry out in the warm California sun today (do my kids really need so many clothes? I am thinking they each only really need two outfits plus one nice outfit...) and my mind turned to the issue of "pretty." All my life, I have equated "pretty" and "beautiful" with thin. It has remained this out-of-reach thing for me, always eluding my grasp. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that I am ugly, but I have real trouble labeling myself as pretty (and it only happens once in a while on a really good day) and have never thought of myself as beautiful. However, when it comes to other people, I don't use this same standard. I see lots of beautiful women everywhere who are not "thin" or "skinny." It is a terrible double standard. 

I was thinking about it and looking at myself in the mirror, and thinking that even if I some day manage to fit into a "skinny" size, my face will pretty much look the same as it does now. My hair won't be any more luxurious or suddenly become a perfect coif. My breasts will not be any larger, unfortunately probably just the opposite. In many ways, I will look much the same as a "thin" person as I do now as a chunky one. So if I don't think I am pretty now, the odds that I will suddenly think I am are pretty slim (no pun intended.) What this requires is a whole mind shift. I have to find love for myself as I am. The question is how? 

What works for you? Is it daily affirmation? Lipstick? Hypnosis? Lobotomy?

1 comment:

  1. OH! You are a curly hair girl too? :) Very pretty pic! I like it! :)

    I liked this post...I will never be skinny, but have learned to see myself as the smaller person that I am these days. Feels good to recognize that. :)