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Monday, November 15, 2010

crazy train



I am officially freaked out at the prospect of running this 5k on Thanksgiving morning. Last week I was excited. I wasn’t sure if I could make it, but I was going to give it my all and I felt like there was a good chance that I could run the whole thing. And I was going to be proud of myself at any rate. What happened, you ask? Well, last Thursday I met the road for the first time, and the two of us didn’t exactly hit it off. I tried, I really did. I was friendly, optimistic, and just short of jovial. But that road? It was unwelcoming. It was indifferent to my efforts. It was unyielding and uncaring. And while I did the best I could, I felt discouraged.

Over the weekend, that discouragement has turned into fear. I am afraid of running on the road again. And I am worried about the 5k. I am apprehensive, frustrated, and embarrassed about something that hasn’t even happened yet. I have visions of me failing, of having to walk most of the race, of having to face my family at dinner afterwards and tell them that I couldn’t run it. I am completely psyching myself out over this.

What’s that you say? Knock it off? Ha, would that I could (and you sound like my husband.) I have been trying to shut my crazy brain off for 30 years. Ok, more like 23 – I don’t think I was really nuts until I was 7. But if you have any idea as to how to turn around this bad train of thought, feel free to let me know. But you know what? Trains are heavy, and they don’t have power steering. 

4 comments:

  1. We need to derail this trail immediately! I was going to send you some tips, but I don't have your email! So here's what I say, in no particular order.....

    1. What's the worse that could happen? You walk a little and you finish a little later than you want. Your family will still love and support you! Plus, *you* are the one out there running, not them! That counts for a whole lot!

    2. Trust your training. You've put in the time and effort. Don't let one little run derail (hehe, sorry. bad pun.) all of the training you've done.

    3. A lot of running is mental. If you think you can push through, you can. Your mind normally wants to give up a long time before your legs want to.

    4. Just relax and have fun with it. Remember the reasons that you started running. No matter what you've come a long way and you have a *ton* to be proud of!

    5. On race day, don't try anything new. Get to the start line on the early side. You don't need the added anxiety of being late! Make a race plan and stick to it. Most important: have fun! That's why we run!

    Let me know if you need anything else....even if it's just a cheerleader!

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  2. My suggestion: divert onto a different track. It takes less energy, attention, and difficulty than backing up or turning around.

    You're not on no crazy train. You go girl. Really.

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  3. Dang, I know how you're feeling! I'm doing a 5K the day after Thanksgiving...I was feeling so great about my 5K progress indoors and finally took it outside. It was cold, I felt slow, and I couldn't get into a great rhythm. Reminder to self: don't forget music! But, it gets better. You can do it!

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  4. Oh no! I'm sorry. Discouragement sucks, but even if you DO walk a lot of it, at least you did it, right? I think you can make it. But even just going out there means a lot. It's more than I could do right now. I hope you go for it!

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