Know Thyself

I don't have a problem with words. Or using my voice. Anyone who knows me knows that I talk. And talk. And talk and talk and talk. It is one of my favorite things to do, in fact. Once I get over my awkwardness when talking with new people, I can chat all day with them about anything.

But...start asking me questions that need specific, insightful answers about my family and myself, and suddenly I am mute. Or worse, I am a sputtering, uuummming mess. Why is this? I mean, I swear I know my children. We've met. I get them going to school in the morning, keep the youngest all day, am here when they come home in the afternoon, and am stuck with them get to be with them through dinnertime and on into bedtime. We have hundreds of conversations a day, (doesn't "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom," "What??!!!" qualify as a conversation???) and sit at the dinner table together and talk about our days. And Hubby and I have been married for almost 12 years now, have shared hours and hours of time together, are tuned in to each other's moods (you know, someone less familiar with him might not realize that when he doesn't answer my questions or at the very least is monosyllabic and leaves a room anytime I walk in with my mouth open, he just isn't ready to talk - it is subtle, I know.) And then there is me. I should know myself better than anyone, right?

And yet, when, in the course of setting up our family photo shoot for tomorrow, the lovely lady taking the pictures has been emailing me with questions about what we like to do together, what our favorite color is as a family, our favorite ice cream flavor (again, as a family - have you ever tried to get 6 people of varying ages and maturity to agree on one thing???) and then to tell something about each one of us, something fun and quirky that we each love, I draw complete blanks. I have probably made her life more difficult instead of less over the last few days, and she hasn't even met us yet (I imagine there may be some weeping involved when that happens.)

So does all this mean that I don't know my own family? Or maybe it is just that it is hard to truly define what makes us so wonderful and fun? I mean, who wants to be pegged down by labels and favorite colors, right??? We'll just say that we like to be open to liking whatever kind of ice cream we choose at any given moment - it doesn't at all mean that I have no idea.