Got up at 5 to give my daughter her meds, and forced myself into my workout clothes and to the gym for 36 minutes on the elliptical and a half hour class. And if that is the best thing that I can say about this day when I climb into bed tonight, then I am ok with that. The trainer who does our class made us write down some goals for now to New Year's, and while my whole mind and body screamed "Don't do it!!! You are relying on comfort food right now and are too exhausted to commit to working out!!!" I did it anyway. Maybe it is just what I need to keep me from going over the edge with the eating over the next few stressful weeks. Nothing like accountability to a roomful of semi-strangers and a trainer to make you stick to a healthy eating plan. So my thighs and butt were measured (sorry - glutes - let's be professional here) and I weighed in on the gym scale. Yippee. (That was not a sincere yippee, by the way.)
So in other news, today is Hubby's last double shift and he has tomorrow off, which means I think we just might make it. He actually got to come home early last night - I went into my daughter's room to give her a pillow and he was sitting there - he had snuck in. The joy I felt was indescribable.
Unfortunately it is not all sunshine and lollipops - I got in a big fight with my dad yesterday, completely his fault and I ended up bawling on the phone and telling him that I just couldn't deal with him right now with everything else going on. The thing is - I NEVER fight with my dad. Next to my husband and kids, he is the most important person in my life. And so to have him do this to me, to be a complete jerk towards me when I am going through what I am going through with my child, just wrecked me. So on top of the constant worry and frustration and exhaustion that is coming from my daughter's recovery, now I have this whole other situation weighing on me. Hubby says I don't have the time or capacity to deal with it right now - and that it is my dad's issue not mine - and that I need to let it go. And while I know that is rational, I am having a hard time executing it.
I am just a mess right now.
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Oh.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl.
You go.
I think this is something like what I need to do. Just stay up a little longer and get it done. But I can't do it back to back...I've tried. So maybe I'll try some of the indoor options with Chickadee near.
Aw poo. Family drama. I know that no amount of "it will blow over soon" ing will help, but I think it's totally awesome that you went to the gym! That is really admirable. And I'm glad that you have Jon there to support you through everything. If my Jon were here to give you advice, I know it would be to write it all out, and I think this blog is a good place for that to start :)
ReplyDeleteMake sure people don't drain you. You have to gaurd and care for yourself so you can be strong to care for your daughter. I wish your entire family health and peace. (PS. I found you through JBS's blog)
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