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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Feelings

Feeling worthless. Feeling like everything I am is tied to my weight and ability or inability to lose it. Feeling like I'm not as good as the next girl, the skinny one. Feeling like a failure. Feeling like I should be able to love myself no matter what size I am. Feeling like I should feel more successful after losing 50 pounds. Feeling like I wish the word "fat" had never been introduced into my vocabulary. Feeling like I just, for once, would like to feel truly happy with who I am and what I look like. Feeling pudgy and gross and just blech. Feeling edgy and irritated and short-tempered and like I am crawling out of my skin. Feeling like I just want a reset button on today.
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4 comments:

  1. ChristineOctober 18, 2011 at 8:46 PM

    you sound like me today. ack. maybe it's in the air. If it's anything to go by, my crappy days are usually followed by amazing ones. Hang in there.

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  2. MollyOctober 19, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    Okay, I'm going to get preachy. Get moving. Track your food. Do the basics. Don't focus on the scale. Do you have some NSV? Get your water in each day. That's an easy success. Don't focus on the negative, it will eat you up! You ran and finished a half marathon! Look at where you are. Fat is not a definition - don't let it define you. I've felt like that. I know it's hard. I understand. Make a list and get something done around your house. Cross things off as you go and celebrate. This is way too personal but is it PMS? Good luck! I'll be thinking about ya!

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  3. AnonymousOctober 19, 2011 at 11:34 AM

    I couldn't have said it better than Molly - I think every night before you go to bed write 3 things down that you liked about the day - it could be as random as you saw a pretty fall tree, to making a soup that turned out - you are a strong and beautiful woman - that needs to be your mantra! :D

    Hugs!

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  4. StephOctober 23, 2011 at 8:51 PM

    I know it probably doesn't help to say that I'm sorry you're having a down day :( Sometimes having bad days just happens, but also you should just know that I find you totally inspiring, and totally NOT fat, and I think you look amazing! You are worth so much and you have done an incredible thing by working so hard to change yourself and get in shape. I think you're awesome. Good luck with this coming week!

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