When I first arrived to help, the expo was just closing, and there were still some runners milling about. Listening to them talk about the impending race set off the first twinges of longing in me. As we worked, the other two girls helping out were discussing their plans for their very early race morning, and those twinges became stronger. Overhearing the other vendors talk about the race set me off even further. By them time I had finished helping and was taking a walk through Downtown Disney, surrounded by hundreds of people, many of whom were wearing their Tinkerbell Half shirts and fervently discussing their race plans for the next morning, I had reached the point where my mind was finally screaming at me "Why aren't you doing this race?!" And while I knew that the basic answer was that at the time of registration, we couldn't afford to commit to the whole thing and couldn't come up with the money right then, what I figured my mind was really trying to ask was "Why aren't you participating in this thing that you really want to be a part of, that makes you really happy, and that you are longing to do?" Overall, I had the feeling that these races are something I want to be a part of, to work in, to run, to belong to.
As you may remember, my
Well, that registration opened today for the race in September. And I have been intent on registering, and also registering my hubby if I can finagle it. We do our taxes early, and some of that money was earmarked for this race. So imagine my dismay when registration opened this morning and the race is already 75% sold out. EDIT: In the time I wrote this post that number jumped to 80%. What? That hasn't happened the past few years I've been watching registration. So the time I thought I had to get my money together? Non-existent. Hubby tells me that we are scraping together the money for my registration right now and getting me signed up. Great, right? Except that now I am doubting. I wanted to run it with someone. With him, really. I did it all on my lonesome last time, and watching all the other people running with their family/friends/running groups made me wistful for that kind of experience. So now the question is, do I do it on my own again, which I know I really will enjoy anyway and I will be doing the thing that I know will make me so happy, albeit alone, or forego it and wait until we can (hopefully) sign up for the next one together? (Although the hubby is being adamant and I may not actually have a choice - he wants me to run it.) I honestly don't know what to choose.
SECOND EDIT: I ended up signing my husband and I up for the 5k instead. This way, we still get to be a part of the weekend, get to run through Disneyland, and we get to do it together. Plus, it is way more affordable, and right now that is important as we are trying to establish ourselves down here in Southern California. We plan on living here for at least a few years, so there will be more opportunities to run the half. I am already thinking I will start saving now to sign up for the next Tinkerbell half, for which registration opens in the fall. I just had to get over feeling like I'm not part of the "cool group" at the expo if I'm not running the half and am only doing the 5k. Personal issues - wanting to belong and feeling like I don't. But the hubby and I are both huge Disneyland fanatics, and the experience of running his first Disney race with him will be amazing, whatever the distance.