In the past 2 1/2 weeks, I have only ran twice. And I've been stressing over it, big time. I've been sick since Sunday, the kind of sick where I would make it about a half mile if I was lucky before collapsing on the ground in a heap. On the levee by the river, I'm not sure anyone would check on me either. They might just figure I was homeless and leave me there. So I haven't been able to run the last several days, but the time before that I just wasn't running. Something about the combo of the pitch dark and cold didn't lure me out of the house (or my bed) for a while. I've been feeling major guilt and stress about it as I swear I am watching my thighs grow and my endurance decrease daily.
Last night as I was mentally freaking out over it, the tiniest voice in my head was trying to be heard over the shouts of disapproval and dissention. I had to forcibly quiet my mind in order to hear it. And what was it saying? "This isn't permanent. It isn't the end of everything you've worked toward. You can build it back up." Simple, I know, but amid the normal onslaught of "You're not good enough" "You are too chunky to run" "Only a worthless person would just not work out for two weeks" (all of which is thought by me, directed at me) it was a startling statement. It took me a bit by surprise. So I took a couple of calming breaths, and focused on those statements. Which are all true. As soon as I am able, I will head back out to run, and if my endurance has gone way down, I will start small and build it back up. I did it before, I can do it again. Two and a half weeks can't erase everything I've done - I won't be starting from scratch.
As I was reading blogs this morning, I was greeted with a couple of running challenges (thanks to (Just) Trying is for Little Girls for informing me of them.) So I signed up to add motivation. One is the Holiday Bootie Buster Challenge over at Run To The Finish, where you get points for how active you are and the healthy choices you make, and points win you cool prizes. The other is the Healthy Thankful Blogger 5k over at A Journey to Thin. It also has a cool giveaway. I am not above being bribed to run. Go check them both out and sign up to add some more fuel to your fire of motivation.
Do you ever get caught up in feeling like your "off" days are the end of everything you've worked for? How do you bust out of that mentality?
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