Tuesday, July 12, 2011

All by Myself

As in, don't wanna be. But I have been feeling really alone lately. In everything I do. I am alone in taking care of the kids - who are home all day thanks to summer break - because hubby is working. I am alone in stressing out about the money we don't have and the bills we are struggling to pay because my husband isn't a worrier. I am alone in my half-marathon training. Through all the crappy runs, and good runs, through the IT band pain, through the wanting to quit, out there on the trail, I am alone.

Until it occurred to me that I don't have to be as alone and isolated as I am allowing myself to be. I have this blog, this poor, neglected blog, which should be feeling pretty lonely itself. I could should be chronicling the process of my training to run my half in September and reaching out to the blogosphere for extra support. And yet the last time I posted was in June, and every time I sit down to write something, I find that I just can't do it. Not for lack of things to talk about - nearly every run yields something that could be a post (all that time alone in my own head produces some very strange thoughts, let me tell you) and still I am barely blogging. Is it possible that I am isolating myself on purpose without knowing it?

I am going to make myself a schedule for blogging, a training schedule as it were, so that I can build that muscle back up. And while building that muscle, maybe I can rebuild a readership here, so that I can stop feeling so alone.

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