Thursday, August 5, 2010

Low Class

Hubby and I were conversing the other night about some of the blogs I read. (He is learning to know you all by name – we had a little quiz.) Anyhow, in particular I was telling him about Chris over at A Deliberate Life - specifically the fact that she has broken into a size 8 (go and congratulate her!) I was, of course, lamenting the fact that never in my life do I recall being a size 8, and how I would love to work my way down. His reply was that it would be a constant struggle for me to remain at that size, to which I responded that it would, but my life would just be so much better. He looked at me and, knowing that what was going through my mind was how I would be a better person, equal to those around me, if only I could lose enough weight, said:

“The numbers are there to help you find clothes that fit you; it is not a class system.”

Every once in a while, Hubby says something that really resonates with me (ok, maybe more often than once in a while, but the man has enough self-esteem – I have to keep it in check!) This statement was one of those. After he said the words, it was as though they echoed through the car. I continued to hear them throughout the night, and even now they keep coming back to me.

I have always looked at my size as something that makes me less than others (how is that for irony?), something that is directly linked to my worth. I have always thought that if I could just get skinny, I would be a better person, my life would be happier, and I would think more of myself. Hubby knows this. And he also knows that what I need to hear, and hear often, is that the number on my jeans is not who I am, does not define me, and does not determine where I fit into the world as a person. So as those words continue to echo, I am striving to lock them down in my brain and keep them there, where hopefully I can begin to believe them.  


  1. oh hon,
    I love being a size 8. I have been one before.
    But didn't appreciate it. I tell you when I started feeling happy and better about myself. I would say around 220 lbs.
    I realized that I was a worthwhile person and I deserved to be treated well, and I deserved to be treated well by others. That was an inner change. Your husband is right. You have to be happy with you and where you are. Whatever size that is. If you aren't then work toward being that person. That is what I did. All the work I have put in is toward becoming someone I admire.
    If I stopped at a size 12 or 16, and I had done the same amount of work inside and out that i have done. I would still be proud.
    I would still be happy. I wish I had figured all this out a long time ago...but I think the weight loss journey and the mental journey had to go hand in hand.
    um, this is a comment, not a I will sign off now.

  2. I think I love your hubby. It's like the other saying: Scales measure weight not worth. But I like this one better.

  3. You've got GREAT taste in husbands!
    Size 8 is such a big deal for so many of us ... The Single Digit.
    Yeah, I love your hubby!

  4. I am exactly the same way. I'm a BAD PERSON because I'm not thin enough. As I sit here I am just shaking my head. What is WRONG with us? And what did we do to derserve such wonderful husbands? Thanks for this post. :)

  5. I'm so glad I read this post. Sometimes it's so hard to not get caught up in the number on the scale or the number on the clothing. When neither make us who we truely are.