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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

New 2 U Cross Training Challenge - February

I apologize in advance for the length of this post - apparently I am not succinct in describing the torture that is bootcamp.

As of Monday I am officially over halfway through my bootcamp, and there have been many mornings on the drive home that I think "I'm going home to write a post about this," but then inevitably I got lost (only the first two days,) or had to take a record-time shower and get out of the house to meet a friend for bagels and thrift-store shopping, or had to high-tail it to get the 12 year old to school relatively on time (after homeroom but before the tardy bell for 1st period totally counts as "on time",) or got swept out on a spur-of-the-moment trip to San Francisco with my husband and kids. And by the time I've been back by a computer with time to write, it has just eluded me. But I am bound and determined to have this post written before the end of the month, as I am not going to be a New 2 U Cross Training Challenge slacker in February.

The bootcamp I am attending was chosen based mostly on the fact that it was on Deal Chicken for $25 for 12 classes - three each week for a month. It is a little bit further away than I would like, but when I first looked at the map of the location it seemed closer - I've lived in the city of Sacramento for almost a year now, and yet the proximity and position of things still eludes me. I am somewhat directionally challenged when it comes to location. What can you do? So I drive about 25 minutes to get to class, which starts at 6. I leave my house at 5:30 to be sure I get there in time, and I wake up around 5 to get up and get dressed and get myself awake enough to drive (I was waking up at 4:50, but after the first week I gave that up and realized I don't need quite that much time, when I need the extra 10-15 minutes of sleep more!) 

When we get to class, it is still dark. Pitch black kind of dark. Can't see anyone else's face kind of dark. And it is freezing. It has gradually begun to get light earlier, but the temperature on average is still freaking cold. One morning it was drizzling. Oh yeah, we're hardcore. Or at least the instructor is.

The class is on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the workout is new each Monday. We always start with a short warm up walk together, then do abs, then some strength, and then cardio, sometimes with more strength mixed in. I will not attempt to describe the ab work to you all because I can't remember what the exercises are called or exactly which ones we've done - suffice to say they are horrible and I wipe them from my mind each day in order to convince myself to go back the next time. One of my favorite parts of bootcamp is probably the 30 seconds of rest I get between each ab set, during which I lay on my back on my mat and look up at the stars. Up until he says "next set."

Strength has included lunges and squats with shoulder presses and lateral lifts, lying face down and doing T, Y, and I raises with the dumbbells, and other such things. My arms are getting toned, which is nice. I like strength training in general, and like it better when someone who knows what they are doing is telling me what to do. 

That leaves cardio. Cardio in this class is normally either pairing off/facing off with someone and/or running drills. And it always involves cones. And usually pain. The first week, Terence (our instructor) set up four cones in a field in a large square shape. A fifth cone was set some distance off from the square, and that was where we started. We did high knees to the middle of the two cones on one side of the square, and then ran around the perimeter of the cones, bending to touch each one as we rounded the corners. We did it several times, increasing in reps each day of class. After that exercise, we ran sprints against another person - terence lined us up in two teams. Again, the number of times we did that increased throughout the week, but it started out with several anyway. The class is comprised of 9 people and then Terence. When we pair off and it is uneven, someone has to run against him. One girl in the class has been going for five months and is undeniably in the best shape in our group, so it is usually her who runs against Terence. I fall somewhere in the upper-middle stamina and agility wise, and I am happy with that. I may not be near the fastest, but I'm not the slowest. 

Anyhow, the more people who attend the class, the more of a break you get in between your set, which is nice. Conversely, the fewer people that show up, the less of a break you get, if any. 

Last Monday, Terence announced that as the first part of our cardio we would be doing "suicide line drills." Does that inspire confidence in anybody? It didn't in me. And with good reason. There were four cones at varying distances away from the starting line, and you ran from the start to each one, touching the ground, then turning around and going back to the start. So the first time you went to the closest cone, touched, then ran back, then turned right around and ran to the second cone, touched, and ran back, so on and so forth. The squat that you were doing when you touched the ground seemed like no big deal at first, but after a couple times and combined with the sprinting in between, I thought it might kill me. Those were followed by more line drills, these ones with side stepping. 

Tuesday I attempted to go for a 3 mile run - my legs were so sore and tired that it was mostly walking with some running. Tuesday night I had gotten to bed really late, and only got 5 hours of sleep. I felt crappy, and didn't even set my alarm, figuring I would skip class. But at 4:56, my body woke up on its own, and 20 minutes later I had talked myself into going to class. It was AWFUL. My body couldn't perform, my quads hurt the whole time, and I was SLOW. I have not stayed up late again since then.

Monday of this week, we switched it up again. Now we are doing a drill that starts with 10 push ups, from which you go directly into sprinting down and back, before doing 9 push ups, and then sprinting again, all the way down until you do 1 push up. So it is a total of 55 push ups and 10 sprints. We were paired off again. Only three of us regulars came to class that morning, thankfully two more came from another class to make up one they missed. Still, with only 5 of us, there wasn't much breathing time in between. And someone had to run with Terence. Guess who the lucky one was?

After the 4th set, I honestly thought I was either going to throw up or pass out. Each time I finished my sprint my stomach would seize up and I'd get a little dizzy. I barely recovered before it was my turn to go again. And I couldn't slow down my running, because Terence was right there with me, telling me to keep pushing. The thought ran through my mind that at least if I passed out, I wouldn't have to finish. In the end, I didn't pass out or puke, and I was pretty proud of myself. But my whole body is sore, and even thinking about going back tomorrow morning has me in a state of dread. 

Overall, with only one week left in bootcamp, despite all the pain I've felt, I will really miss it when it's over. I wish I could afford to keep taking it, and that it was closer to my house. Each time I survive the class, I feel a huge sense of accomplishment and am really proud of myself. And sometimes I feel a little bit like I rock. I am a little worried about the weigh-in and re-measure at the end of class (oh yes - I forgot to mention that we did those things at the beginning) as I know I haven't lost much (or any) weight, although I am sure I am toning so maybe the inches will be good. With only one week left in February, I'd better start looking around for my next cross training experience - hopefully another deal will pop up!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

If I died

If I died tomorrow, I would look back on my life and think "I wish I hadn't worried so much about my size." I wouldn't think that I wish I'd spent more time worrying that I wasn't as thin as the next girl, or about the number on that damned scale. I wouldn't be worrying if my thighs were to thick, or if I ran so much slower than someone else. I would be thinking that I wished I had loved myself more, loved the body I was given and what it could do. Enjoyed my food instead of agonizing over every bite and feeling guilty for enjoying the taste of a good brownie. I need to just let it go for a while. Try to find a way to be comfortable in my own skin. Not allow myself to eat anything and everything, mind you, but just quit overthinking every choice I make. And quit letting my own mind make me miserable. Because if I died tomorrow, I would look back on myself with regret. Not because I was too fat or too slow or not good enough, but because I didn't realize how great I really was.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Bootcamp Baby


I grabbed a deal off of Deal Chicken yesterday for a month of M-W-F bootcamp classes for $25. What a steal! The place that runs these bootcamps usually charges $149 for this package, so I had to grab it. It starts tomorrow at 6 a.m. (I tried for the 5 a.m. but it was full - probably better for me in the long run but it makes the morning schedule a bit tighter for my family.) I am totally freaked out, but also a little excited. I am ready to be challenged and force myself to fight hard again for a while. The place is about 25 minutes away, so I've got to be out the door at 5:30 at the latest (probably earlier tomorrow since I may or may not have a habit of getting lost in unfamiliar areas...) So I'm off to bed, but not before saying a little prayer that I am not way out of my league and that I can do my best. Oh, and not die.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

My 11

I love reading these lists that people are always getting tagged to do - I have a lot of fun learning random things about other bloggers! So I was really happy to be tagged by Sammy over at Happy Family, Healthy Family to answer some questions. It's taken me a few days to sit down and do it, but today I really needed some fun, and this was a great distraction!


The rules:  

1. Post these rules.
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them you've tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about you are tagged if you are reading this. You legitimately have to tag 11 people.

So here we go .... 

Morgan's Random 11:
  1. I got married on New Year's Eve when I was 18 years old
  2. I have always wanted to be a gospel singer, but am incredibly white and a good amount Irish, so the closest I have been (and ever anticipate being) was when I played a gospel singing nun in my high school musical
  3. I love stars - I have them all over my home, but that doesn't stop me from buying more
  4. My birthday is on St. Patrick's day, and it was also my great-grammie's birthday
  5. My mom moved back to her home state (Vermont) from California (where I live) when I was 7
  6. I love Disney, and more specifically things that Walt Disney himself had a hand in (I could live at Disneyland) and have a somewhat varied and large knowledge of Disney trivia
  7. I have a book addiction - at any given time I have a pile of at least 5 waiting to be read, and I can't go into the library and come out with only one 
  8. I spent 2 weeks the summer after my junior year of high school driving and camping through Canada with a friend's family
  9. I have a terrible track record with pets...they all ended up dead or ran away...it sometimes amazes me that all four of my kids are alive and (mostly) healthy
  10. When I was a freshman in high school, I started a grease fire in my kitchen and threw water on it (no one had ever taught me not to do that!) - almost the entire house had to be repainted
  11. I hate to be tickled, and my husband's jaw still clicks from when we were dating and he tickled me and my knee popped up (involuntarily) and clocked him - hey, I warned him!
My answers to Sammy's questions:

  1. Favourite vege out activity? Reading
  2. Fav food? Sweet italian sausage tortellini with alfredo sauce (which I hardly ever get to eat because it costs too much to feed my whole family!)
  3. Place you would most like to visit? Ireland
  4. Person you would most like to meet? Walt Disney 
  5. Worst job? Cleaning other people's houses - I did it for a summer and hated it!
  6. Favourite group class? Cross training/strength training class at my old gym - I don't know what it was called
  7. Rich and lonely or poor and loved? Well, I am currently living poor and loved, so I guess I'd pick that one!
  8. Secret Crush? Gerard Butler - ok, who am I kidding, it isn't a secret!
  9. Scruncher or a folder ... Folder
  10. Measure of a good workout  - Calories or Miles? Miles if I'm running, calories for anything else
  11. Addiction? Pepsi, but I've been working hard to break it and haven't had it in over 2 weeks

My Tagees:
Questions for the Tagees:
  1. If you could live anywhere else, where would you choose?
  2. Favorite beverage?
  3. Books or tv?
  4. Favorite game (board or otherwise)?
  5. Food you can't live without?
  6. Dream job?
  7. Favorite color?
  8. Favorite type of music or band?
  9. Most embarrassing moment from high school?
  10. Always cold or always hot?
  11. Last movie you saw?

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

New 2 U Cross Training Challenge

Although I completed my activity for the New 2 U Cross Training Challenge two weeks ago, I am getting my post about it in just under the wire, as it is the last day of the month. Not sure why I couldn't seem to buckle down and blog about it when I did it, or any of the time between then and now, but here it is anyway.

My kids got Just Dance 3 for the Wii for Christmas, and I found that it has a feature on it called "Just Sweat." I happen to really like Just Dance (although I like the songs on 1 and 2 better than 3, and wish Santa had brought one of those versions instead) and so the option to combine the game with working out? Sounded awesome.

So after finishing a level of the Shred one night, I popped the game in and went for it. (There is no video of this, as there were no witnesses. No one needed to see that :P ) Really, the Just Sweat version of the dances were a lot like Jazzercise, or at least what I imagine Jazzercise to be as I have never actually done it. And it did indeed make me sweat. But I didn't find it to be as fun as the regular dance versions of the game. I did a couple of the sweat songs, which were all that had thus far been unlocked, and then I switched over to the regular game to earn points and unlock some more sweat versions. Which took me a while since I don't earn as many points at a time as my children, specifically my eldest daughter. What can I say? I'm more of a free-form dancer.

I totally look like this when I work out - leotard, leg warmers and all. It's like they took a picture of me for this game ;P

At any rate, by the time I had finished my dancing/exercise, I was sufficiently sweaty and out of breath, and it was more fun than my average trip on the elliptical. I will probably revisit it as a for of cardio/cross training in the future. Now I need to figure out what I'm going to do for February - it is a shorter month, after all, and it took me 31 days to get this report in!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I got out of bed, put on my running clothes, dropped the kids at school and came home, then headed out the door. And from the very beginning, things felt bad. Physically, mentally, just in general. Without all the details, I struggled through a walk/run of 3.5 miles, a track of self-loathing, anger, exhaustion, and general despair playing over and over in my head. My body didn't want to submit to what I was trying to do either. It was one of those workouts that just wasn't good. And made me feel like I am a failure. I didn't even make it all the way home (which would have made it 4 miles) - I called my husband in tears and just asked him to come get me.

I am not one of those runners who loves every day that I am out there. I don't often feel like I am soaring as I run. It doesn't come easy for me hardly ever, and I normally have to mentally talk myself through a chunk of it. I read these other blogs where the women have lost a lot of weight and now are running fanatics, and their posts read like odes to running. They are faster, they have more joy in it, and they look like the shining example of what runners are. And what I'm not. I love the feeling when I have completed a run, and I do like to run (mostly.) But it isn't what everyone says it should be. And I feel like a failure compared against that.

I'm eating well, I haven't had sugars in over a week (as defined in my last post) and yet my workouts this week have felt harder, I'm having a hard time staying motivated in general, and the scale hasn't moved. I feel distraught and irritated and frustrated and sad and just tired of all of this. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not as good as everyone else, like I'm not successful, like I am not pretty or good enough. Like I'm just not.

I think that on a personal level, I am not taking enough time to build myself up. I'm not dedicating myself spiritually the way that I need to be, I'm not seeking comfort there where I should be. I don't think that is all of the problem, but it could be a start.

I'm tired of being at war with myself.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Sweetie pie


Today marks day 7 since I cut sugar out of my eating. So far so good. To be clear, I need to define what I mean by cutting sugar out, lest you think I'm more awesome than I actually am. For me, right now, sugar equals sweets - cake, pastries, candy, cookies, etc etc etc, soda or other sugary drinks, and adding sugar to my foods (such as oatmeal.) I have still been eating a tablespoon of peanut butter when I have a whole wheat English muffin at breakfast, and I know that has some sugar in it. As do some sauces I have used in my cooking lately. But for the most part, I am avoiding it, and I am feeling really proud of myself.

When I am having a hard time with no treats, and I really need something to get me through, I have some sugar free Jello pudding in the fridge, and also some sugar free hot chocolate mix in the cupboard. But I don't have it every day, and I don't have more than one of those on days when I do eat it. I am not a huge fan of artificial sweeteners, but when they aid in my being able to avoid sugar in certain moments, I will eat it. 

I've also cleaned up my eating, focusing more on whole grains instead of things made with white flour, getting more veggies and fruit in, and just being more conscious in general of what goes in my mouth. Some days I am still eating a little more in volume than I should, but for the most part I'm making some good changes.

I moved up to Level 2 on the Shred, and I forgot how hard it is! Between that and middle-of-the-night bowling last night with the hubby and his employees, my shoulders are pretty sore. I had meant to get out for a run today, but we didn't get home until after 1 this morning, and I woke up feeling like I was hungover, so I didn't make it.

How is everyone else doing?