Half-Marathon Part 1 - In which I arrive, shop, and eat.

It has been a few days now since my first ever half-marathon, and I have been hobbling around, trying not to fall asleep at any given moment, throwing myself back into reality, trying to come up with the words to adequately express my experience this past weekend. And failing I think. Whatever I say will fall short of really sharing the experience with you all. Not to mention that I don't know how to pare it all down! I can see now why bloggers break their half-marathon (or marathon) recaps down into several posts. It becomes a bit like watching a slide-show of someone's vacation - you as readers can only take so much at a time. Or at all. And yet there is a desire to share every little thing that happened, because, for me at least, this was something of a monumental weekend. So all of this has been holding me back, until this morning.

This morning I was able to see the professional photos and videos from the race, and all I found myself thinking was how bad I looked, how funny I run, how I don't look like I belong out there, and why did I think a running skirt was a good idea with my legs? I got really down on myself. And that? Is completely unacceptable. Because I ran a half-marathon. 13.1 miles. I didn't quit, I didn't die, I finished. And I should feel nothing but pride in myself for that, regardless of how long it took me or how bad I think I looked while doing it. And the best way to remember those great feelings I had during and right after the run is to relive it through posting about it.

I am going to break it down, though, because it is a lot. So today we will start with the Health and Fitness Expo at the Disneyland Hotel and surrounding events of that day. Hubby and I drove down Friday and stayed in Sherman Oaks with a best friend of mine from High School - we swam in her pool, relaxed in her hot tub and visited - it was lovely. Saturday morning we got up, had breakfast, got our stuff together and headed off to Anaheim for the expo.

Going to the expo was a requirement of the race - you had to pick your packet up there with your bib, and also your goody bag and t-shirt. Pick up for packets was downstairs, and wasn't at all busy when we got there, so I was able to just walk up and get mine.

I was surprised at the tears I had to hold back when I had this in my hand. It was the first step to actually doing the half-marathon that weekend, and the emotion just washed over me. I never thought that I would be doing this, and the reality of it hit me hard.

The goody bags were upstairs with all of the vendors, conveniently placed along the back wall of the expo so that racers had to walk by all the booths to get their stuff. They really know how to rope you in and get you to buy stuff!

I had ordered a medium technical shirt, but it was too big (always nice to say) and so I had to exchange it for a small. Then it was time to look around at all the stuff.


The expo wasn't as large as I thought it would be (although I've never actually been to one, I've read a lot of posts since Saturday that all agreed this one was smaller than normal.) The ladies from Running Skirts were there, and I took the opportunity to try on a skirt in person (I have issues ordering clothes online) and ended up buying one. It was really comfortable and cute. (Later I would find that it bothered me a bit when running, but that was more of my own issue than anything to do with the skirt. If you like running skirts, you should totally give these girls a try - they are well made with compression shorts underneath and really move with you and are pretty comfortable overall - and they aren't compensating me for this review at all. I bought my own skirt and these opinions are mine. They don't even know who I am.) I wish I had been able to buy a pair of their super cute compression socks, but I was on a limited budget. Maybe later.

I also went through the booth for One More Mile, and ended up with a tank that says "Running is a mental sport and we are all insane." Cute. Hubby bought me a 13.1 magnet for my car, and a sticker that says "The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." It is a John Bingham quote. They have a lot of shirts with cute quotes on them. I also liked "Race day strategy: start slow then back off." That pretty much sums up my speed!

After perusing the expo for a while, we headed out to eat some lunch. There is a Mexican place in Anaheim that we love, and that was where we headed.

Before 

And after

From there we went to Target and then to check into our hotel, and unfortunately were given a smoking room. Apparently the discount site that I booked through doesn't guarantee non-smoking, and they were booked solid, so there was no switching rooms. It wasn't pleasant, but eventually we got used to it enough to survive. We rested a while, then swam and hot tubbed, relaxing until time to got walk around Downtown Disney and get dinner.

I'm awake, see?

Hubby is a root beer fan (although this one turned out to be a Vanilla Cream Soda - oops!)

Mmmm, Haagen-Dazs

Then it was back to the hotel to get things ready for the early morning start and try to get some sleep. I was really tired, having not slept too well the night(s) before. My body had started showing signs of anxiousness - nausea, headache, etc. I just hoped to sleep it off and be as ready as possible for the race.

Race Swag

Race outfit all laid out

Here I Go

It is 4 a.m. on the west coast. I woke up at 3:30 - 20 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. I am mostly dressed, mostly Body-Glided up, and mostly excited to go and do this thing. I need to be over at Disneyland by 4:45, and am taking the 20 minute walk over there so that I can warm up. I am a little nervous, but really looking forward to seeing everything and just taking it all in. The next time you all hear from me, I will officially have run a half-marathon.

This girl

This morning Hubby and I are leaving to drive down to Anaheim for my half-marathon. I feel a little sick to my stomach and have a bit of a headache, which I am hoping I can attribute to staying up late getting ready and getting up early to get going. I am really excited about the race, about seeing one of my best friends from high school, about going to Disneyland for a day. But mostly about the race. I have come so far from the girl last year who was scared to try to run a 5k. That girl thought she couldn't do things. That girl was afraid that people would know she wasn't a runner and shoo her away. That girl wasn't able to be proud of herself. But this girl knows that she can finish a half-marathon. This girl doesn't care that she is slow, that she will probably be in the last part of the group to finish - she knows that she is still a runner. She put in months of training even when she didn't want to, despite the stress going on in her everyday life. And this girl is going to be extremely proud of herself for doing all of it.

Last run before the big one

Today was my last run before my half on Sunday. Four miles at a 12 minute mile pace - faster than I have been lately mostly due to the drop in temperature. Thanks to an outpouring of generosity, I have almost enough for my trip, and am pretty sure I can scrape the rest together. Hubby and I leave Friday morning, and after I wash these stinky running clothes I will start getting my stuff together to pack.

I've decided against wearing my hydration belt during the half and hope that I don't regret it. There are water stations every mile and a half or so, and I just don't feel like messing with my belt the whole time. Thanks to a $15 rewards certificate to my local Fleet Feet, I will be able to purchase a smaller fuel belt to hold my, well, fuel. And possibly a camera. I can't decide whether or not my iPhone will suffice to take pictures of all the things Disney will have going on.

Speaking of fuel, I went to a wonderful seminar on fueling and hydrating during long runs at Fleet Feet, and learned a lot. I was neither eating nor drinking as much as they recommend - did you know that you should have 100-150 calories every hour that you are running on a long run? For me, that means I end up eating about 3 times during my really long runs. Remember that time I tried Gu? And hated it? Well, that was the last time I tried any actual fuel. I took along some gummy bears, which were tasty but didn't lend much lasting energy. After the seminar I bought a couple of things to try - Clif Shot Bloks and Honey Stingers (which is something that Molly recommended but I hadn't tried yet. I should have tried them sooner!) I tested them out on my last long run, the 10 miler. Shot Bloks? Gross. Only a half step up from the Gu. But the Honey Stinger Organic Chews? Wonderful! Like a gummy bear but better for my lasting energy. 

And don't even get me started on the Honey Stinger Waffle - perfect for eating before I run (a bit messy during the run, but oh my gosh it was good!) I noticed a difference in the way I was feeling towards the last couple miles of the run, so I am a believer that fuel is important.

As far as hydration, even after the seminar I was having trouble getting the recommended amount while running - 20 oz per hour - but I don't have time to experiment with that before this half. Maybe next time. (I can't believe that I actually think I might do this again - I should probably make it through this one first!)

I am starting to get really excited about the half - I am not nervous at all which really surprises me. I expected to be a mess. I know that I will be anxious the night before and the morning of, but right now I feel good. I know that I am slow, I know that I will probably walk a bit, but I am okay with it. I am completely accepting of where I am at, and I know that I will finish, which is what is important to me right now.

Time to go get ready for breakfast - Hubby set his alarm to get up when I would be returning this morning so that he could make me food - love him!!! Have a good day everyone!

With a Little Help From My Friends

My half-marathon is in 6 days. I have been waiting for an insurance reimbursement to come into my account to pay for my trip to Anaheim for the race (the hotel is paid for, but nothing else is.) I've been checking with the insurance company all month to ensure that the funds were coming - I spoke to 4 people 4 different times in fact. Last Friday, I called again, just to be sure. And was told that "something looked funny in my account." Words that are not good to hear. I was transferred to someone else, who informed me that, in fact, the money would not be coming. Ever. Even though the last four times I called I was assured everything was good and the money would be here shortly.

With 7 days until I was scheduled to leave, I suddenly had no money to pay for the gas and food for my trip. And nowhere to pull it from, no family to borrow from. I was panicked. Sure that all my training and hard work was going to go to waste. We have bills to pay and mouths to feed, and there was nowhere to find anything extra. So we fasted and prayed, any my husband came up with a plan.

"Post it on Facebook," he told me. "You have tons of people who have been following your journey and supporting your training. I think they will want to help." I really wasn't sure about that course of action. It felt like begging. It was embarrassing. But after talking to a friend of mine and sharing the idea, she told me "I HONESTLY love that idea. People are invested in your progress. They want to see you finish. I know I am inspired by you." And so I decided to do it - what did I have to lose? If I didn't get some money somehow, I was missing the race.

So last night I created a Facebook page titled "Please help Morgan get to her half-marathon." And I wrote this post, titled "I really need your help":

The money we were expecting to get us down to my half marathon didn’t come through at the last minute, and I now find myself with four days to come up with the $300 needed for gas and food for my trip.

As you know, I’ve spent the last several months training hard for this race. I’ve been through physical pain and emotional highs and lows, and fought to change who I am and meet my goal. Throughout my journey, you have followed my progress and setbacks, my highs and lows. Your comments have inspired me and lent support when I’ve needed it. I’ve thought back on your words during my long runs and you have all motivated me to push harder and just keep going.

I have found myself so close to reaching my goal, but without the money it seems as though it might slip through my fingers. I hate to ask for more than you’ve already given, but I am out of options for how to raise this money to get me to the starting line. After all the sweat and tears, I really want to see it through to the end.

If you can spare $10, $20, or any amount, I would be eternally grateful, and you would be part of my success.

This morning I sent out links to my Facebook friends - not all of them but the ones I thought might be interested. I shared it on my wall. I posted pictures. And I waited. And worried.

But not for long. Soon emails started coming in. Messages asking for my mailing address and telling me money was coming. From friends. From family. From people from high school that I haven't talked to since our reunion 3 years ago. I got text messages from people from our new church who I hardly know. One woman I work with in Young Women texted me and told me that she was bringing me the money from her date night jar. "It isn't much," she wrote. "It is amazing," I responded. I have been brought to tears more times today than I can count. I don't have the full amount yet, but I believe I will get there. I am in awe at people's generosity and love. I am humbled.

I used to think that running was solitary. That I was alone out there. Turns out I could not have been more wrong. And now, my first half-marathon will mean even more to me, because I will have all that love and goodness with me, spurring me on. I will succeed, for myself, and all those people who support me.

9 miles

Tuesdays are my long run days - today was 9 miles. After feeling like I totally killed my last long run, I was kind of nervous to head out for another one. I've been fooled into thinking that I am over the hump before, only to be smacked down when my next run is painfully difficult. But today I added a mile to the distance and was still ok. The run wasn't quite as awesome as last week, but still pretty great. I am able to recognize how differences in the weather affect my run - this morning there was no breeze and the sun was on me most of the way, making it hotter than last week. But I powered through and was proud to make it back home again. 

My half-marathon is in less than a month, and I am pretty excited. I am thinking about getting a visor to wear while running to keep the sun out of my face - I can't wear sunglasses while I run as my face sweats a lot and they slip and just bother me in general. Any of you out there run with visors? Have any words of wisdom for me?

Changes

The alarm blasted on at 5:30 this morning to rouse me for my run. Having gone to bed at almost midnight, I promptly hit the snooze button and immediately fell back asleep. When it came on again 10 minutes later, I turned it off completely, and the battle commenced within my head. 

"I don't want to run."

"I should get up and run."

"I'm tired - I want to go back to sleep."

"I should go run."

"No, I think I'll just stay in bed. Maybe I'll run tonight, or definitely tomorrow morning."

"Hmmm, ok that sounds good."

And yet, ten minutes later, I got myself out of bed. And into my running clothes. And, eventually, out on the street. I did my four miles, and it went well. On the way back as I was running, I remembered that I had almost stayed in bed. I smiled and thought "And now I'm almost done, and I feel good, and now I don't have to worry about doing it later. Which I probably wouldn't have." This Morgan is not the Morgan I am used to. That Morgan would have stayed in bed, skipped the run, felt guilty all day, and never have made it up. As I thought about it, I identified a few more ways in which I have changed.

I miss my chickens - fresh eggs are the best.

I eat eggs. I have been disgusted by eggs since I left my childhood (I ate them when I was little, but at some point that stopped.) I don't like fried eggs very much, but I am all for a good scramble filled with eggs and veggies.

I eat bananas. I have always had a texture issue with them. The only way I ever ate them was on toast with some peanut butter, and even then it was few and far between. But lately I have been forcing past the gag reflex and eating them, before running or after, and it is going pretty well. They have to be just the right ripeness or I have a real problem, but for the most part it is fine.

I also eat oatmeal. When I was a kid, I hated oatmeal. It made me feel like throwing up. My dad's girlfriend at the time, who was not a nice person, used to make oatmeal pretty frequently. When I would gag while eating it, she would tell me, in all seriousness, that if I threw up in it, I was going to have to eat that too. So even as an adult I have loathed oatmeal. But when I started trying to lose weight and working out, I kept reading about how good oatmeal is for you and so on. So I started eating it, a little at a time with different tweakings, until I was over the immediate gag that came from the memories of my childhood. Now I like steel cut oats, and I don't even need brown sugar to eat them (although I do love it that way - and sprinkle some in from time to time as a treat.) 

I know that I have probably changed in a lot of other ways too, but the eating and exercise is the easiest to see. I have cut out sugars for the last little while, and the scale shows that I am down 2.8 pounds as of this morning. It is nice to feel like I am on a roll again. I hope everyone else is doing well too!