One step forward and two steps back

Wednesday. The day that the scale and I meet officially (as opposed to all those unofficial meetings during the other 6 days of the week. If it ain't Wednesday, it don't count.) I am on week 7 of the 9 week weight-loss competition with my family, and this morning wasn't pretty. And I don't mean the sight of me with frizzy bed hair staring the scale down naked. Although that couldn't have been all that pretty either. Good thing no one else is awake that early, or in the bathroom with me. But I digress...

This morning I weighed in at 173.8, 1.4 pounds higher than last week's weigh in. Now I could whine and cry about it, I could justify my little heart out, but I am not going to. I am just going to own it. It is what it is, and it isn't changing (not even after I pulled the batteries out to reset the scale. Not my finest (naked) moment.) What I am going to do is move forward. I have two weeks left. Two weeks to regain the lead that I lost to my sister this week (by .2 percent.) Two weeks to make better choices in my eating and keep sweating it out at the gym. Two weeks to lose what I can and win this stinking thing. Because I held the lead for 6 weeks, and that felt too good to let go of now. 

Today I am grateful for second chances, heck, for third, fourth, and fifth chances even. Because I may take a step or two back, but I have the ability to run those two steps over again and keep going.

YES!!!

Um, I did it.

Yes, I did.

I know, I can't believe it either.

Oh, wait, you don't know what I'm talking about?

I ran a 5K on the treadmill this morning.

FIRST TIME EVER.

41ish  minutes. Which doesn't actually matter at all. No matter how fast or slow I ran, I ran the distance. Still coming off a cold.

I am thankful for being able to overcome my mental block which kept telling me to stop, I've been sick, ease back into it. You know what I said to that inner voice? Shutup. And I ran.

Next step? Hitting the street.

Catching a cold and catching up on some gratitude

Here we are on Monday morning once again...somehow I missed posting for the last 3 days, and so I will have some thankfulness to catch up on. But first let me tell you what happened on Friday.


I did my morning run, and for the first time IN MY LIFE I ran for 36ish minutes, and made it a distance of 2.9 miles. I have never, never ran that long or that far before. And while it was still short of my 3.2 mile goal, I was pretty proud of it. I have two weeks and two days until the Thanksgiving 5K that I am signed up for, and I am just going to be focusing on increasing my time and distance. Oh, and on actually running outside. I have been on a treadmill this whole time as I was working through the C25K, and I know that it is totally different running on pavement, and so the plan for this week is to map out my run somewhere near my home (somewhere without hills, as the run in Sacramento is very flat - thank heavens) and get out there and start trying.


Those of you who are runners, or who at least have tried it, how does running on the treadmill compare with the street? What should I be aware of?


As of this minute I am fighting the cold that I have been trying to get my oldest daughter over, and as her surgery is in three and a half weeks neither one of us can be sick. I am drinking tons of water and consuming copious amounts of vitamin C, as well as downing Airborne and zinc, all in an attempt to convince my body that I am NOT going to succumb to this disease. I made the choice to miss my workout this morning, hoping not to push my body over the edge, but I hope to feel good enough by tonight to go and do something. Missing it is like having things crawling under my skin - it is a really unpleasant sensation and I am constantly aware of it and it is wigging me out.


So onto my last 4 days of being thankful...


On day #5, I was grateful for music. I LOVE music. I love to sing (I sang tenor in high school and was in a musical where I was a gospel singing nun.) I love to dance. Music makes me feel lighter and happier when I want to, or it embraces my melancholy when I need it to. I love lyrics and melody. If I had to make the horrible choice between being deaf or blind, I would have to go with blind, because to never hear music again would make my life miserable. Friday night, I went with the hubs to see one of our favorite independent bands at a local night club, and it was wonderful. Music just makes me happy.


My 6th day found me grateful for health as I was saying goodbye to mine - nothing makes you appreciate feeing well like not feeling it. 


Sunday, or day#7, I was thankful for rainy days when I can stay at home in comfy clothes and just rest. I love to listen to the rain hammering outside while I am snuggled up with a cup of herbal tea and my favorite blanket, finishing an entire novel. Ah, that is bliss.


Which brings me to today. Monday. I think that part of the fun of this month of gratitude is waking up and thinking "what will I be grateful for today?" Today I am grateful the days when I am able to get up and make breakfast for my kids. With all my early morning workouts, they have usually eaten when I get back, and mosts of their breakfasts consist of cold cereal and milk. This morning, since I stayed home, I was able to make them French toast (which I abhor but they love) and it was just gratifying to watch them eat it up, some with powdered sugar lips, and to know that I did something right. They will go off to school this morning with bellies full of warm food, and that is a happy thought. 

Becoming an addict

Today was my down day from exercising, but since my internal clock has been reset to early morning workouts, I was up at 6 anyway, and that was sleeping in! The interesting thing is that mentally, I kind of wanted to go to the gym. My brain kind of thought "Hey, you could work out 6 mornings this week instead of 5 - imagine how that would help your weight loss! And you know you feel good when you are all done working out. Even if you accomplish nothing else all day long, you have done that. You're up anyway. There isn't anything here at home that you need to do this early." As you can tell, my brain likes to convince me to do things - hence the reason it can be so hard to avoid eating those baked goodies I love so much - my brain makes such compelling arguments! But my body was telling me a different story, one about achey-burningness in my shoulders and lower back, and stiff legs that were threatening to not even carry me down the hallway, let alone to the gym. I think that right now, with as hard as I am working out, it is important for me to take two days off a week. But I am beginning to see what people say about working out being addictive.

Onto my fourth day of gratefulness - today I was driving Hubby's truck when it ran out of gas on the freeway. No, that isn't what I am grateful for. But I am grateful for my sister-in-law who came to save me from being picked up by a random trucker. She brought gas for my car, and then followed me to the gas station and put in a few more gallons so I could make it home (payday isn't until Saturday - which is why I hadn't filled the tank already to avoid this predicament!) So for all that I sometimes wish for some distance from my in-laws, I am eternally grateful for Jamie's love and assistance.

Weigh-in and a cutie

I cannot wait for the time change on Sunday - dragging myself out of bed at o-dark-thirty is rough. It doesn't help that the house is cold then either. This morning I woke up at 4:30 - the alarm was set for 5, but I always start waking up before them for fear that the alarm will go off and wake up Hubby. For some reason, it has become impossible to set the volume at which the alarm goes off, and it is set at a jump-out-of-bed-you-are-being-robbed-and-murdered volume. Not good. So I was out of bed at 4:50, and at the gym at 5:35.

Since I completed the C25K plan last week, but am still under 3.2 miles, I have extended my running time this week to 32-33 minutes, and am up to somewhere between 2.6 and 2.7 miles. I've got three weeks, and I am slooowly working my way up there.

Weigh-in for my family challenge was today, and I was down another 2.6 pounds, for a grand total of 11.4 pound in the last 6 weeks. Given that I am also adding muscle, I am THRILLED with this. And I am still winning percentage-wise. Which is great - Mama needs a new pair of boots! But I haven't won it yet - my step-mom is making a comeback with her weight loss, and given that she is 30 pounds smaller than me, she doesn't have to take off as much to have a higher percentage. She currently stands at 5.6%, while I am at 6.2% - that is not a big gap. I hadn't perceived her as so much of a threat before, but she is on my heels. Its always the quiet ones! I will tell you, it was much easier to want to take my brother-in-law down, though - I have a bit harder of a time talking smack about my step-mom. I won't let that stop me, though ;) I am going to take her out!

So only good things for this blog post - that is nice. It is bright and sunny here in Northern California, and slated to be unseasonably warm. And here is day #3 of being thankful:

On day #3, I am thankful for my youngest, 3 1/2 year old Jonathan Neil Joyner. With the other three in school all day, he and I get to spend a lot of time together. He is extremely cute, just ask any of the women who he charms each week at church. He flirts with women shamelessly, at the store, the library, the school - any age, any shape and size - he is equal opportunity! Jonathan constantly tries to talk his way into/out of things, starting sentences with "How about" or "I know!" and raising his eyebrows repeatedly at you to try to get you to do what he wants. I am completely immune, unfortunately for him. Since being potty trained earlier this year, he is determined to mark his territory, asking me at every place we go "Do they have a bathroom here?" I have started telling him no, just because I can't take going into one more bathroom when I know he is forcing himself to go (he also has amazing control over that!) He can be cute and cuddly or independent and willful, and I love watching him figure things out each day. One of my favorite things is the fact that he can pick up almost entire songs the first time or two he hears them, and I will catch him singing parts of them while I am driving or while he is playing (makes you pay attention to what he hears - he was singing "Highway to Hell" from the backseat a while back.) I am thankful for all that he adds to my life and our family.

A Serious Topic

Today I have a very serious issue to talk about. Something that has been plaguing me in the last few weeks as I spend my time in the gym. An issue that I suspect I am not the only one familiar with. This issue, dear readers, is butt sweat. (Should I have put a warning at the top that this may be a TMI post???)

When I work out hard, which I have been over the last couple of months, I sweat. I don't get dewy, I don't glisten, I don't glow. I sweat. Sometimes profusely. From my face, from my neck, in my cleavage, and sometimes my arms and torso. All of which I am ok with. It means I am working my body hard, and I am burning calories, and those are the reasons I go to the gym. And I always wipe down the machines after I use them, with a paper towel and anti-bacterial spray. But when I get up from a weight machine where I have been sitting, and there is a strip of sweat on the seat from my derrière, well that is kind of gross and offsetting. Now, when I work out, I wear plain old cotton undies, and usually a pad *just in case*, so shouldn't that block some of that sweat? Maybe it isn't butt sweat, but rather thigh sweat. Still not my favorite. 

So do any of you have this problem. Or are you now sitting at your computers, cringing and thanking the heavens that you don't work out where I work out??? Any input or advice? Or butt sweat stories you'd like to share???

Also, it is Day 2 of Counting My Blessings , and while perhaps I need to work up a thankfulness for my sweating, it isn't what I am grateful for today.

Today as I sit at my desk, making phone calls for dental appointments, calling for support for our upcoming hospital stay, and checking in with family and friends, I am thankful for Mr. Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone. I know that there are days when I wish that the telephone wouldn't ring anymore (last night, when all the politicians kept "calling" me to secure my vote is a good example) and I long for a trip to a desert island where no one could find me, but this morning I find the telephone to be an invaluable invention.

What are you thankful for today?  

Counting My Blessings

Somehow it is already November. I have no idea where it came from, or where the year has gone, but there it was this morning, waiting for me when my alarm went off. As we all know, the big deal this month is Turkey Day. Also known as The Day We All Eat Too Much. Or The Day Before Black Friday. Or, for some of us, The Day We All Get Dressed Up To Go and Fight With Our Families (I haven't experienced that one, but have heard stories.) But, officially, it is known as Thanksgiving.

This month, in order to keep  my blessings at the forefront of my mind as our family is going through some hard things, and in order to truly remember to give thanks for those blessings, I am instituting the 25 Days of Thanksgiving. Every day I will post something that I am thankful for. I encourage you all to do the same, whether you post it or not, just take some time every day through Thanksgiving to write down one thing that you are thankful for. Keep the list to look at when times are darker. Or if your times are dark now, use that time every day to find a shaft of light to follow. Surely in this world, where we are all alive and surviving, where we have food and clothes and roofs over our heads, we can find just 25 things to be thankful for.

So today, on the 1st of November, I am thankful for a body that is able to run (even if it doesn't like it) and then go and take a workout class without passing out or throwing up. What are you thankful for?